My heart my soul my lover, belongs to another
by True Love Always Brucas
Summary: This is forbidden, we both know it's true. I keep replaying that simple fact in my head as I'm lying next to you. This is a Bl affair! Please comment and tell me if you want more. Enjoy! Ch.4 is now up!
1. we can't have forever, but we can have t

**Okay guys, i know you are probably going to kill me, but here is another one-shot. I couldn't help it, with the new BL sneak peek next epi (6x08), i've been in an extra brucasy good mood.**

**Okay, I really need your feedback on this, b/c if you guys like this i'm thinking about adding more chapters. It would be like maybe 2 or 3 more poem type chs. So if you are interested in more please comment and tell me. **

**So anywho this is a BL oneshot with a possibility of more. Hope you enjoy and as always I sadly do not own anything from one tree hill, only the ideas in my head!**

* * *

This is forbidden, we both know it's true.

I keep replaying that simple fact in my head as I'm lying next to you.

You don't seem to have a care in the world you don't seem to mind,

and as you wrap your arm around me and pull me close, I promise to myself that this is the last time.

We share secret glances at each other when i pass you by.

We are both holding onto our spouses hands, so we just smile and say hi.

It's been a week since our last encounter and you've called me again,

but as much as I would like to pick the phone up and call you I can't quit thinking about who you are married to, my best friend.

I finally give in when I see you at Karen's cafe.

We go back to my parent's old place, and as you passionately kiss my lips, you take my breathe away.

A blouse, a shirt, pants, a jacket, a sweater,

they all are removed as we fall onto the bed and bask in this splendor.

I've never been so close to anyone like this before.

We can lie to ourselves and say this is just about sex, but we both know its so much more.

That night we decided it was the last time.

You gently brush the side of my cheek saying that you would always be mine.

I think back to that night, 2 weeks ago, wondering how this could be.

That amazing night spent with you has created this gift that is now growing inside of me.

He's escatic he has wanted a child for so long,

but its been over 3 months now and i know that i can't keep this from you, it would be wrong.

I call you and we agree to meet at our special place,

and as I walk into the house with the red door that used to be my own, I can see the look of shock on your face.

Silence surronds us until you look into my eyes.

I know what the next words out of your mouth will be as you ask, "Is it mine?"

I just nod my head yes what else is there to say.

You walk over to me and hold me in your arms as you whisper soothing words, "everything will be okay."

You pull away to look at me, tears running down your face.

"Do you feel that?" you ask, "That's what happens when I'm near you. My heart begins to race."

As you place your hand over my stomach I begin to cry,

but you just pull me upstairs to the bed and hold me as we lie.

"I wan't to buy this house and live in it with you like you did before,

I want you to be my pretty girl again, the girl behind the red door"

I want to say yes but instead I stay quiet.

Instead I snuggle into the warmth of your embrace, knowing that we can't have forever, but we can have tonight.


	2. In your silence I can hear only sound, I

**Hey guys so this is the new ch. I hope you like it. **

**I thought I'd switch it up, so this time it is in Lucas' POV. **

**I would just like to thank all of my reviewers and my readers, you guys are amazing and please continue to review it means a lot. I would like to thank you all personally, but its 4am and im just too tired, but seriously thank you guys, you inspire me to write.**

**Again i own nothing, and now that we have that settled here is the new ch.**

* * *

I close the door I turn out the lights

but I'm not going to sleep tonight.

I climb in beside her and hold her tight.

I still find it hard to believe that she has our baby growing inside.

All I want to do is hold her, shut us up from the rest of the world, and hide.

I've never wanted anything as much as I want us.

I want the three of us to be a family I want to build something with them based on love and trust.

I want forever with her I've told her that time and time again,

but then I wake up and realize that reality is still out there, that I'm still married to her best friend.

I watch her sleep as her chest moves up and down.

I swear every time I look at her I see heaven, in her love I would gladly drown.

I brush the stray hair that has fallen in her eyes.

I wish it could be like this forever I wish we didn't have to live in lies.

It wasn't always like that I remember there was a time when we were just friends.

I close my eyes and remember the day all of that came to an end.

She walked out of her room in the red bridesmaid's dress and asked me how she looked.

I fell in love with her right then and there, and from the moment that I took her in my arms and kissed her I was hooked.

I smile thinking back to that day we had both said that it wouldn't happen again, she couldn't believe what we had just done.

But from the very first second I held her in my arms I knew she was the one.

I'm taken out of my thoughts as she stirs in her sleep.

I place my hand over her stomach and breathe in deep.

She knows as well as I do that what we have is something we cant drop.

You cant control who you fall in love with it just happens, she is an addiction I can't stop.

But she has a husband and I have a wife and we both know we have to hide these feelings, push them aside.

Because I'd rather her be happy with him than watch the guilt of loving me eat her inside.

I wish this moment could last forever, that somehow I could make time stop and we could live in this perfection.

Or maybe I could wipe out our memories of our love so we would have no recollection.

But honestly looking at her right now I fall in love all over, and I know that I would still love her the same as I do now,

We would end up finding our way to each other someway, somehow.

"God pretty girl I don't understand how you can sleep." I wish it was that easy I wish I could have that much peace.

I don't know if she can hear me but she does because she answers back, "When I'm in your arms it's easy, I just listen to the sound of your heartbeat."

I grab her hand and kiss it before placing it over my chest.

"You know that only beats for you, no one else."

She smiles and places my hand over hers.

"Same goes for mine," she says, "It speaks without having to say a word."

I pull her close kissing her with everything that I am.

Knowing that this love could be the death of me, it's almost more than I can stand.

As we pull away I look into those hazel eyes.

Knowing that what I'm about to say will kill me inside

"You know I want more than anything to be with you,

But I get that raising this baby with him is something you have to do."

I look away as tears fill her eyes, but she just smiles and nods her head and says, "I hope you understand that it's for the best. So I guess this is goodbye."

I brush my hand against her smooth skin.

"It's never goodbye with us. Besides aren't you the one who always tells me people that are meant to be together always find their way in the end."

* * *

It's been 5 months since we've talked, but I've seen her around.

People are so happy for her and him, I hear them talking all over town.

Peyton is so excited that she is going to be a god mother.

But if she knew the real truth she would hate me for being the father.

I haven't been able to write since Brooke left, not a single word.

She was my inspiration, a love that couldn't be altered.

But life has a funny way of coming up and biting you in the ass.

Of course it couldn't less us have our happy ending, nope that lasted almost as short as sand in an hourglass.

I look at the letters that she wrote me everyday.

I've locked them in my dresser, so Peyton will never see them, safely away.

I close my eyes and think of her and then they start to fall,

All the words that I've bottled up inside make there way to the surface as I begin to scrawl.

* * *

She is almost nine months along and I haven't heard a single thing.

And as I hear Peyton call me for dinner, I sigh and hide the diamond ring.

She has to tell me something I think to myself.

I'm the father of this baby she can't do this by herself.

As I walk to the dining room and Peyton tells me she has a surprise.

I come face to face with those same hazel eyes.

Brooke looks at me with a nervous smile,

And then I look over and see him and realize that she is not alone in this she has Owen, her husband by her side.

I'm shocked to see her, and upset that she hasn't even called me at all.

But as she discreetly places a hand on my leg and gives me a reassuring smile

The wave of emotions that run through me are like a windfall.

It immediately makes me forget my anger just knowing that she is here beside me makes everything worthwhile.

* * *

She walks into the kitchen behind me while I am doing dishes.

"The baby is fine." she says then adds, "Luke how did we create such messes."

I look at her not sure of what to say.

I finally decide on answering honestly, "We married the wrong people and found out too late."

She just stares at me and I watch as she places a hand over her tummy.

Of course in Brooke fashion she just changes the subject, "I can't wait to be a mommy."

I can't help but smile at the excitement in her voice.

"You are going to be the best mom in the world. That child couldn't ask for a better choice."

She says thank you before walking away.

But before she leaves she turns back around to say,

"Luke, I'm sorry for hurting you so much.

But I can promise you one thing, you will be the first person I call when I go into labor. I promise I'll keep in touch."

* * *

They left that night her and him

After Peyton hugged her tight and said, "I can't wait to see that beautiful baby girl." with a grin.

"It's a girl." I ask. Brooke never mentioned that.

My breath hitches in my throat as I think of that fact.

"Yeah," she says as she leans in to give me a hug, I softly say in her ear, "I hope she looks just like you."

Before she pulls back I swear I hear her mutter "I love you."

And while I watch her get in the car and drive away, I silently whisper, "I love you too."

**So what did you think? Please review and tell me so I know if i should continue or not. I dont know how many chs. there will be, but i really like writing in poem style. Up next will be the birth of mini Brooke, and much more. So stay tuned.**

**And thanks again to all my amazing reviewers and readers you guys freaking rock!**


	3. A precious gift, a growing rift

Episode Title: A precious gift, a growing rift

okay guys i would have had this out sooner but my computer messed up so I couldn't post it! but here it is and please review, i love to hear from u guys!

this ch. is the long awaited birth, from reviews u guys have been asking me when she will have the baby, so the wait is over!

again i own nothing, but James Lafferty would make the best christmas gift!

* * *

**Brooke's POV**

As we pulled out of the drive I felt like I couldn't breathe

Lucas is the man I want to be with, but again I break both our hearts and leave

I don't know how to explain this feeling

this wound that I feel isn't going to mend it's the type that time wont be healing.

"Hey you okay." Owen asked as he reaches for my hand.

He is such an amazing guy and my heart breaks at his words, no I'm not okay, but how could I ever make him understand.

"Yes, I'm fine" I say looking down at our fingers intertwined

my heart suddenly twinges at the realization that his isn't like Lucas', it doesn't fit perfectly in mine.

As he turns on the radio I look back one last time

trying to remember ever single piece of him, trying to embed it in my mind.

as we make it to the hospital I freak out,

I wish Lucas was here he is good with a crisis but as we turn the corner I hear a loud shout

"Brooke" I hear him say as he runs to me, Peyton following behind

I give him a hug as I whisper in his ear, "Told you you'd be the first one I called. You're just in time."

**Lucas' POV**

I've never been so scared in my life when she called

I drove faster than I ever have and when we got there I ran like a maniac, screaming through the halls

But when I saw her all my nerves disappeared

and all the confusion was replaced with happiness by seeing her here

She smiled at me one last time as the nurse came to take her to a bed

I looked on at her walking with Owen as I placed my hands in my head

and as I sit down with Peyton, I wished it was me comforting Brooke instead

**Brooke's POV**

I've never been in this much pain in my life

I feel like this beautiful gift inside of me is stabbing me with a knife

"You're doing great baby" Owen whispers in my ear

but as he holds onto my hand and kisses my cheek I can't help but wish that it was Lucas here.

"Just one more push" I hear the nurse shout"

and as I grit my teeth and push, my little girl finally comes out

I cry tears of joy as they give her to me

knowing that I've never loved something as much as this little baby

**Lucas' POV**

I feel like I've been sitting here forever twirling my hands

I should be the one in there with her, thinking of him holding our baby is almost more than I can stand.

Peyton keeps looking over at me but I can't think of anything to say

but I'm taken out of my thoughts as Owen walks out and says, "It's a beautiful girl, everything is okay."

As I walk into the room I don't know if I've ever felt this way

seeing my two girls together takes my breathe away

I don't think I've ever loved anything as much as this little girl

and as I hold her in my arms I wish that I could give her the world

**Brooke's POV**

The look on Lucas' face was the sweetest thing I've ever seen

and as he held our little girl in his arms, I held my breathe and marveled at the scene

I look around the room at all the people I love

and for the first time the guilt wasn't eating me up

This little gift in my arms was worth it all

"What is her name?" I hear Peyton call.

And as I kiss her little fingers and look into her Lucas blue eyes

I smile "Hope, her name is Hope Katherine Davis ." I say.

And as I look at Lucas we both silently pray that Hope will bring us together someday.

* * *

so what did u think? hate it love it? please review and tell me what you thought and thank u guys so much for reviewing it means a lot! i seriously have the best reviewers! u guys freaking rule!


	4. Absence makes the heart grow fonder is o

**Hey guys ok so first off HAPPY NEW YEAR! and second of all I SUCK LIKE MAJOR SUCKAGE! im so sorry that i haven't updated in so long but honestly i've had no inspiration! but last night i was on fanpop and saw where someone had posted this story and it totally made me realize why i was writing this story: FOR YOU GUYS! the readers, the reviewers, the lurkers, the people who just come here b/c they are feeling in an emo brucas mood! ok maybe not the last one but if you do come here for that reason well by all means come away!**

**i seriously love you guys and i will try to update my other stories too! this one shouldn't be much longer maybe 2 or 3 or 4 chs. im not sure how far i will go with it!**

**IMPORTANT: THIS CH. TAKES PLACE 2 YEARS IN THE FUTURE AND THIS IS WHERE ALL THE DRAMA REALLY STARTS**

**anywho on with the story i think ive made you wait long enough**

* * *

Lucas' POV

It's been 2 years since I've seen her last.

the hours seem like days, weeks seem like months, as more time has passed.

I still remember the last thing she told me before she left.

"We can't raise her together, so I'm going with Owen to New York, it's for the best."

The words keep replaying in my mind, my emotions pouring onto the page as I write.

I've been writing ever since she found out she was pregnant, now the regret of letting her leave is eating me inside.

One page became two and now there are more than I care to know,

everyone of them a love letter to her, everyone of them making me miss them both more. Making me wonder for the millionth time how I could ever let them go

I sigh and put my book down,

all I want to do is close my eyes and lie in the sound.

There is nothing that makes me feel emptier inside than the silence that surrounds the house.

I would give anything to hear the pitter patter of little feet and the raspiness of her voice but instead I hear deafening stillness, nothing to help rouse.

The last thing I remember is Brooke's pretty face,

as my eyes slowly flutter shut and I begin to fall in the warmth of my dream's embrace.

* * *

Brooke's POV

"Mommy" I hear my daughter call.

I listen to the pitter patter of little feet as she makes her way down the hall.

She looks at me with her big crystal blue eyes and I melt at that sweet face.

"Mommy I'm gad your ome now let's go pay"

this is what I live for this is how I know I did the right thing.

When I walk through that door and she jumps in my arms I know that she was what I had always been missing.

We sit in the living room and play with her Barbie's for hours when we hear a car drive up.

"Daddy's home" she squeals with delight. and I can't help but think of Lucas as she runs to the door and opens it up.

I know its wrong and I know I shouldn't feel that way.

what we did what we had it was lust not love, just a horrible mistake.

But as Owen kisses me on the lips and pulls me into his arms

I can't help the voice in my heart whispering to me that this is all wrong.

We sit at the table and eat the pizza that had just arrived

We laugh and smile at little Hope as she talks about the day she had with Haley, my brother's wife.

Owen smiles at me and I smile back I can learn to love him like he loves me.

We can make this work, we can be what I've always wanted, a real family.

"Mommy where did my blue eyes come from"

And suddenly with that sweet little innocent question my whole body goes numb,

and the realization that I could never be completely happy without Lucas hits me and everything came undone.

* * *

Lucas' POV

I felt something shift on my bed and I open my eyes in a daze.

as I finally gained my bearings I raised up and was met with my wife's face.

"Did you have a good nap" she asked me and I said yes and shook my head.

"What did you dream about?" she asked and I said nothing instead.

"Um, nothing really" I finally got the nerve to say.

"Are you sure. You mean you weren't dreaming about Brooke, or the fact that you slept with her the night before our wedding day!"

She threw the book I had been writing in on the bed.

"Or how about the fact that Hope is your daughter!" she screamed at me her face turning a crimson red.

And everything came undone.

* * *

Brooke POV

I stared at her for the longest time not knowing what to say.

"Earth to Brooke" Owen waved his hand in my face. "Baby you okay"

"Sorry yeah I'm fine" I finally breathed out "It's been along day"

"Just stressed from work" I said as Hope forgets the question and goes running to the living room to play.

Owen wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me to his chest.

"I can think of many ways to help you distress"

I turn around and place that oh so fake smile on my lips.

"oh can you now Mr. Morello" I ask as I walk into the living room in a seductive manner, swaying my hips.

It's all a game, all a twisted sick lie and I can't help but feel disgusted with myself.

He is my husband and he deserves to be the keeper of my heart no one else.

as I place that thought I my head I can't help but feel guilty because the truth is he deserves so much more.

more than some woman who can't get past the boy waiting on the other side of her red door.

I'm drawn out of my thoughts when I notice the sight before me.

I gasp in horror when I see my sweet angel clutch her chest and whisper "I can't breathe"

and my heart literally stops when Owen and I run to her and she falls at my feet.

And everything came undone.

* * *

**so there you have it guys its a pretty crappy ch. but i am seriously still havin some sem- major writers block! so what did you think? Peyton found out! What's wrong with Hope! What will become of Browen, Brucas, Leyton (just kidding about them we all know what's gonna happen with them ;)**

**and yes i really do suck b/c i left u with this cliffhanger! but things will be resolved well most things in the next ch.**

**oh and i had to throw some naley in there and i've always loved a good brathan siblingness so there you go**

**and PLEASE REVIEW! i know i suck but i really need reviews so i know what you guys thought and what you would like to happen i'm always open for fresh new ideas!**


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